Taken all 3 steps, or taking no more.

Acts 9:23-24 says

I see that you are full of jealousy and chained by your sin." Simon said, "Pray to the Lord for me that nothing you have said will come to me."

These words are spoken to and by a man who was deeply involved in personal power and deception. The apostle sees through into his hearts condition when Simon again seeks power by offering money for the power to give the gift of the Holy Spirit. Simon's desire was so bad because it treated the Gift of God as a commodity, a thing to be bought and used for selfish gain rather than a precious gift, given out of love for the purpose of loving and helping others. So his sin is exposed, but his response I find interesting. It seems almost humble, and yet at the same time is not truly repentant. To his credit he does not deny the words of the apostle, or seek to hide from their truth. It is as if he has taken the first step and said “Ok, yes, I’m sinful and powerless.” He might have even taken the second step and said “I acknowledge there is one who has greater power than me and can forgive and heal me and restore me to sanity.” But then he seems to stop just short of the next and most important step of submission to that Power, of making a decision to turn his will and his life over to God, and instead basicly says “Pray that won’t happen to me and I can just keep on being who I am, but without the consequences.”

The fearful truth is that this doesn’t and can’t happen. God can either heal and become a part of you, or He can leave you alone to your fate. If left alone, the inevitable, unavoidable result of our self will is self destruction. In contrast, love is putting others before your self. God is love, and He became human and died for us in order to fulfill who He is. He couldn’t not do it because it is who He is (but it is not who we are without Him). When you truly love another more than yourself, and put that love into action, you are in fact experiencing God, whether you are saved or not. But without accepting Him as your Lord and healer, this cannot last forever. He will one day have to end this process of life leading to death that is our world and universe. The cancer of death will someday become so terminal that he will remove Himself from this world and let it run its self destructive course. But I believe the spirit of human kind is immortal and will be born again in immortal flesh, flesh and spirit which cannot be changed. That is what it means to be in time, it means to change, and death is the end result of change. Without God within one to shape that change, the change will always lead to more self-destructive selfishness. When one dies without God in them, their time of change is done and they freeze in whatever state they are in. And here is where it is truly fearful: God’s presence in the life of the one who rejects God is forever locked out! His nature of Love, Joy, Peace, and Kindness, which were available to all indiscriminetly by grace in this life, are locked out beyond their grasp for eternity, and all that is left is their sickness, selfishness, and sin. I believe that the flames of hell are a relief from this internal pain, not a punishment. They are the only relief one could possibly experience since all good things are beyond the ability of the deceased unsaved to experience.

So can I just say to you all, please accept God. Even if you can’t accept Him as the God of the Bible right now, accept Him as best as you can understand Him and let Him guide your thinking. Pray with Him, study Him and meet with those who are rigorously honest about themselves and God. And if you do not harden yourself against change with pride and self will, but humbly allow Him to guide your belief and life, I believe you will find Him. And I will look forward to experiencing His Love, Joy, and Peace with you forever.